I maybe sorry that I posted this one,but her it goes.
As I have been traveling the great land of Blog,I have been sharing different parts of my life.there still is a bunch of stuff about me that maybe or maybe I have not posted about much here on my own blog.
There is a reason that I started to post recovery blogs as a special part of my blog sidebar. I have discussed the alcholism of mine.I am also bi-polar,I have tried to commit susicide many times in the past,that monster still is with me I just try to keep that one on a short leash.
I have some problems that were caused by my time in the Air Force.The sad part is that the Military said that my problems were caused prior service.
the V.A. still maintains that to this very day.I have decided to just give up fighting with the "government" on this one. the government in their infinate wisdom has decided that any vetern that has drug abuse or alchol problem are their own doing and the service did not cause the problem.this is true to some point no one force me to drink nor to take the drugs( acid & speed and who know what else) that I took.I admit that this was a form of self medication that I did to cope with my military service.
I am not proud of this part of my history,but it is what it is.
Now for the really shameful part of my life I have had a violent temper and because of that it created for a verry stormy first marriage.
There was an other aspect of that train wreck,I was accused of cheating by my wife based on rumors that fellow wives were telling her. I never cheated on her.Unfortunaly while on a tempory duty assignment she cheated on me with of my best friend. i could have held that agaist her and filed for divorce.but I still wanted to make things work.I though when I got out of the Air Force that maybe we would have a chance of doing that.We both started Taking Classes at Sacramento City College.we both got our A.A. degrees.I tried to go to the 4 year collage to get my B.A. but due to my head being on backward I ended up on academic probation because of my grade.the following semester my grades did not meet the standards again and was placed on academic suspension.
The marriage was floundering we seperated.That is when my true mistress( the one that has always been in the backround) took over me ,and my drinking escalated.
I think that I will stop for now.maybe soon I will revisit this part of my past. Wow 2 long winded postins in one weeks time.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Parts of me.( I am not a Saint) or it's the I ten T errors
Posted by Mike Golch at 4:27 PM
Labels: rambling thoughts
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