A post about a dark side of me.

this week with the death of Sissy Hula Girl's sister in law.Brings me to this post.I too have had thoughts of suicide in the past,my first attempt came when I was stationed on aTempory Duty Assignment(TDY those that have served in the military know these initials all too well.) in Tiawan.
I have made several attempts by using an overdose of the meds I have taken. I even tried to hang myself.Each time I have failed at these attempts.I am grateful for these failures.
After one such attempt I was placed in a psych ward by my doctor at the time where one of my sisters said to me "how can you do this to our Mother".I told her that my attempt was to kill the person I most hated,myself and it was a selfish act and at the time I had no reguard for may one's feelings.I told her that I did not need to be attacked this way and walked out of the visiting area back to my room.
Bottom line is that I am doing a lot better now,and like drinking I know that these thoughts will come back to me.It is how I address these thoughts that are important.I now have phone numbers to call 24/7 I will go to the emergency room for help as well. I love life and I have a lot more peace that I have had in the past. I also have all my friends that live in my computer that I can turn to as well.
Bottom line,if you are having problems Please for GOD'S sake reach out to someone,ask for help.you do not need to use a perminate solution for a tempory problem.I learned this Please do this for your self as well.
GOD lOVES YOU,AS DO YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS.